Personal Birthing Story

I have two amazing biological children, ages 14 and 17.  I also have a 21 year old step-daughter.  With both of my children, I had easy pregnancies, never a moment of morning sickness!  In fact, I’ve often said that I was at my healthiest when I was pregnant.  I was induced for both deliveries, once because I conned the doctor and the other time, the doctor conned me!  After all the work of labor, I distinctly remember holding my son (the oldest) for the first time.  I had a very real, physical shift in priorities.  I remember thinking that my life was no longer about me; it was about this tiny little baby I was holding.  I remember being afraid that I wouldn’t get it right, that I was not going to be a good mother.  Here we are, 17 years later and I have a son I couldn’t be prouder of!  Somehow, I managed to do get it right!!!

I chose this example because I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else describe the feeling I had that day.  I have told this story a million times and women always agree that their priorities changed but they don’t describe anything as “real” as what I recognized that day.

I think child birth can have negative or positive impacts on child development depending upon the mother’s experience.  Certainly negative experiences might lead to postpartum depression which in turn puts the mother/child relationship at risk.  Our text cited two studies that indicate bonding right after birth is not necessary for strong attachment.  This completely goes against my grain!  I am a strong advocate for immediate bonding experiences such as nursing, holding and talking to a newborn. 

I chose to learn about childbirth in the Aboriginal cultures of Australia.  In this culture, childbirth is strictly for women.  The pregnant mother sets up a camp for herself when she begins labor.  She may or may not be attended to by other women related to her.  The baby is typically delivered from a squatting position.  Once she delivers the baby, the mother holds the umbilical cord and begins saying names.  Whatever name she is saying at the time the afterbirth is delivered is the name the child is given.  (This is a huge contrast to us; we agonize over names for months!)  The father keeps his distance until the mother is ready to present the baby.  After about eight days, once the mother’s body has healed, she presents her baby to the father.

The Aboriginal delivery is vastly different from the experiences I had.  My children were both delivered in hospitals with their father, nurses, obstetricians and other hospital staff right there.   There is something to be said for the simplicity of it all!  My insight is that the birthing experience and culture may be polar opposites but the child develops the same way no matter what part of the world they live in!