I have not experienced any disagreements or conflicts at work recently; in fact, work is generally pretty calm! However, as the parent of two teenagers, conflict happens at home periodically. As a rule, my son and daughter are pretty respectful and follow the rules they’ve been taught. My home is mostly peaceful as my children have been taught the 3’Rs, respect, reciprocity and responsiveness. This is not to say that we don’t have issues because we do. In general, we tackle them head-on, listen to each other and find solutions together. My son is a senior this year so we are deep in to college planning and getting him ready to make the transition in the fall. Recently, conflict arises between he and my husband, nothing like having two men in the house who both want to be alpha males! I find that I have to be the peacekeeper between them. This process involves asking one to listen to the other (this sounds easier that it really is!) and then state their side of the argument. Sometimes, we really want to remind my son that “this is our house, get over it” but we recognize the importance of including him in the family decisions, especially those that might impact him.
We recognize that he is well on his way to making most decisions for himself! Reading Rosenberg’s (2000) article, Parenting in the Nonviolent Communication Way, this week has reminded me of the importance of focusing on what he needs rather than what might be right or wrong. I tried paying attention to needs more this week and it has been interesting to see my son not only try to make decisions but wonder what the heck was going on! I shared the article and website with him so he would have a better idea of why I am trying to shift gears a bit. Only time will tell but maybe, he will adopt some of the NVC premises!!
Rosenberg, M. (2000). Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way. Retrieved from The Center for Non-Violent Communication: www.nvc.org
I am very glad to hear that you all have a terrific communication at work.
ReplyDeleteI ask you to follow my link (http://ccecf.blogspot.com/) read my story and suggest a couple of strategies that you use at the time of communicating at work.
Thanks for your time!
Teri,
ReplyDeleteThe strategy that youa re using with your to docus on his needs rather on what he does right or wrong is a great one and I am sure it is going to help resolve all the confictsand at the same time it is going to help you have a better relationship with him too. I also like dthe idea that you ahve shared the article with him, it is going to also help him to learn conflicts without using violence. Thanks for sharing
Teri,
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that your children follow the three R's at home. It sounds like it is tough at times with two competing alpha males in your home. But it sounds like you've got a handle on how to deal with their competitive nature.
Caitlyn
Teri,
ReplyDeleteYou are such a great educator all around even at home. I know in my home, Teri it would not go down that way. I wished I know the things I learned from this course so that can help solve alot of issues in my late home and talk things through communicating. I one day want to have those same rules in my home when it relates to communicating especially nonviolently. Thank you Teri for sharing your personal insight. The 3R's are defintely following me HOME! ::GRINNING::